I don’t like to sugar-coat life. Living a life of pleasure – believe it or not – is not always pleasurable! But here’s the key: pleasure is always on the other side of discomfort. If we don’t allow ourselves to go through it, true pleasure will never find us. We’ll try to dive into it through food, sex, alcohol, perfection, or you name the drug of choice. . .
This is a journaling exercise I came up with recently as I was struggling a bit with old feelings of “failure.” I know very logically that “failure” is not even a thing, but it sure can feel that way, can’t it? Ughhhh… yes!
“Delusions & Realities”
“Failure” is an illusion. . . and we are deluded by it.
The reality is that no matter what, we’re doing pretty darn good. Think about it. Are you breathing? Ah, then you’ve got it made. You really do. With each breath is an opportunity to let go and allow pleasure to present itself. With each breath is an opportunity to make a new decision, to follow a different lead, to land at home in your body. You’re really doing great!
On the next blank page in your journal, write the date and “Delusions & Realities.”
Write “Delusions” on the first line.
Below it, list out all the “fails” you can think of in your life. Remember, your rational, thinking brain knows these aren’t real failures, but they may have you feeling that way none-the-less. Here’s the beginning and end of mine:
- Not getting into grad school
- Following my soul and still feel like I’m failing
- I don’t even know what I want
- I keep living the SAME cycle
On a new page in your journal, write, “Realities” on top.
On the first line, write your first “fail.” Then write 3 benefits of it. I’ll illustrate with my first and last “fails.”
Volleyball – 1. It taught me to be a teammate and a leader. 2. Kept me in shape and taught me dedication. 3. I got to travel all over the country.
I keep living the SAME cycle – 1. Everyone lives the same cycle. Life IS a cycle! I’m doing it perfectly right. 2. Every time I move through the cycle, I am wiser, stronger, and happier. 3. Living this cycle of never giving up on myself even when I “fail” has inspired other women to stop giving up on themselves, too. The world is changing, one woman at a time, because I am in it.
Why This Matters
I have a secret. While I had started the “Realities” part of this exercise when I wrote this blog, I hadn’t finished it. I wrote my totally unfiltered, unchecked, unedited answer to “I keep living the SAME cycle” here.
And you know what? I proved in real time that this exercise really works! I am definitely feeling more confident and much more in alignment with the truth.
And this matters because now when I move through the world, those around me will be able to ride on my confidence and not be drug down by my misery.
When women stand in their radiance, the whole world shifts up with them. When women take care of others before themselves (which we’re trained and socialized to do) no one gets to rise.
Run into the fire. Run into the rage. Run into the delusions as many times as it takes to come out the Phoenix. I did.
In Love & Pleasure
Please use the comments below to share what you discovered in your “Delusions & Realities” exercise. We rise together!